So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
