he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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