I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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