Just fell off a train. Bad.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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