so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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