It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
