I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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