I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
