he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
