I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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