An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
