I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
