did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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