Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
