doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did I show you my penis last night?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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