Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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