Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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