Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
