there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
