I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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