; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
vagina is talking i cant
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
