I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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