Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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