I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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