i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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