Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
