So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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