9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
