I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
