Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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