it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
