i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
