i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
