Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
