i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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