her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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