You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
