Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize