as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
