haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
