Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
