White coat. Heels.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
