dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
