Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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