Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
