I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
