just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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