Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
