She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
