i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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