in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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