i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is Oprah even human
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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