Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
