Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
