'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
