I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
