How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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