Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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