Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
