Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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