oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize