i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
