He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
