someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
