Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
