This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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