scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
God I need to hump something, right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
