i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
